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Dating someone 12 step program

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Men and women learn a lot in recovery, not just about staying sober but living a happy, satisfying life.

They don’t need to be taken care of; they learned how to do that for themselves.

Healthy Recovery, Healthy Relationships Most recovering addicts aren’t strangers to therapy and, as a result, have spent a lot of time working on themselves and their relationships.

They have learned critical relationship skills, including how to identify, process and communicate their emotions and to set personal boundaries while respecting the lines drawn by others.

During the past two decades, I’ve dated both men in recovery and men who weren’t alcoholics (called “normies” by us in the program).

I’m currently single again, a sober divorcée in the strange world of online dating. How do you allude to your past (and present) situations without lying or scaring off a potential match?

Recovering addicts don’t expect perfection in their partners, having learned firsthand that it doesn’t exist.

And they have committed – in recovery and in life – to honesty and integrity and making decisions in accordance with their values.

I credit the 12 steps for helping me rebuild my life and have attended tons of meetings (probably around 4000, but who’s counting? When I found recovery I was single, never married with no kids and strung out on more than drugs and alcohol—I was addicted to attention from men.

It took years of bad decisions, heartbreak and, ultimately, hard work on myself before I was relationship material.

I met my husband seven years ago at a 12-step service meeting and we’ve been together ever since.

After dating one dud after another, you finally find someone who seems to have it all – thoughtful, witty, responsible – and good-looking to boot.

Then they drop a bomb: “I used to be a drug addict.” They may as well have said, “I’m married.” But does one partner being in recovery automatically spell doom for a relationship?